jerk jerk JERK..i hate it when people change...for the worse anyway...not very pleasant at all :P especially when you thought they were your friend....

march break was quite productive....catching-up-on-homework-wise...yay me..

i think i'm destined to wander this earth with only a few REAL friends....used to bug me that i couldn't relate to a lot of people (therefore making me feel like i was weird or something) but now i think i'm ok with it...cuz these friends are like my family...thanks for caring for me and for making me laugh...

props to the P+P team for friday..that was the best P+P in a while :)

hmm..i've been very random today....gosh i sound depressed...but i'm not really...my brain is fried (too much Days..teehee...crap, i'm so obsessed)

whoa..what the heck happened to my january blog? nieh....whatever....so charles bugged me to update...so this is it!

here's what's been goin on in february:
..........


hmm....pretty pathetic....i'm so caught up wth school that i don't have/make time for anything else...

I realized something at last night's P+P: you know how the first commandment is like, you shall have no other gods before me? well it sounds really stupid but i think that's what school has become....it's not like a worship it in the strict sense, like "oh TFS i LOVE you"...eww...i hope i never say that! but it's almost like it kinda defines my existence....i live and breathe it...without school and my good marks, where would i be? i feel like such a loser cuz i never go out cuz i'm always working..and when i'm not working, i feel bad...i guess it's good to an extent..but when it takes precedence over your relationship with God then it's not such a good thing...must work on that...i think i'm getting better

i found out a lot of my friends at school have blogs..it's a revolution!!! =) and they all have these link to personality tests and stuff..it's so fun to go on their blogs! u know what i foudn out about myself? i'm most like KANGA among all the winnie-the-pooh characters, i'm the greek goddess HESTIA, i'm the POP TARTS of all breakfast foods, i'm a CHERRY out of the fruits, and my high school label is UNIQUE...jsut like everyone else! bahahaha....

it was SOOOOO nice to get back to kyrios...i really miss talking with people...and at the P+P i saw my old friends from PCA..that was so cool! they bring back good memories...=) and i saw lotsa the grads...and i gave derek a big hug cuz i was so happy for him!!! yah!

ok so after all my friends left me to go to the after party yesterday, i decided that i need to live on the edge a little...be a teenager for crying out loud! and not to bash after-parties when i've never even been to one and when the only experience i've ever had with after-parties are the stories i've heard about people doin retarded things and getting totally smashed/stoned, etc....but i guess the one turn off for me that is REAL is that some of these people that i hear stories about are my friends....but then, a lot of my other friends aren't like that....well, there's a first time for everything...except, my first time will probably be my last in high school...oh well....there's always university ;D

new year...new blog...it's been a while =)

just to sum up....this new year hasn't gotten off to the best start...but, in the grand scheme of things, i think *crossing my fingers* that everything will work out...

school wise: it is a humongous PAIN THE THE BUTT right now...like..i'm in about the worst possible situation...well i guess it's not THAT bad compared to other things that could happen..but for me it's pretty devestating..=P whatever..i'll get over it

church wise: i'm SO excited for thsi new year! not only are we starting up new stuff at TM3C, but we're relaly growing! and it's jsut relaly encouraging..and i'm getting to know more people..which is good...and hopefully i can help carry some of the leadership burdens that i dumped on other people while i was killing myself over school...i relaly wanan make the most of the months i have left at this church...

kyrios: what can i say..it's a bumpy ride! but so far, it seems really good..i think clem had a good idea when he said he would let us jsut kinda follow our passions and focus on planning a program that we feel inspired to do...instead of just planing any old program...and i hope after snow camp we'll have more focus on God and tighter relationships with each other

relationships: i think everything's goin pretty well on the people level...i'm relaly grateful for my friends right now...especially those i'm close to...ike (for talking me thru my panic attack at snow camp), jon (jsut for being the super guy u are), mich + vicki (for keeping me sane at school)....i know they prolly won't ever see this, but u guys ahve really carried em thru these past weeks...

spiritually: running VERY low...i have a lot of support from certain people right now, especially mike and jon....and it's really nice jsut to know that GOd has put people like this into my life..but somehow i can't bring myself to face God straight on...not only do i feel bad for just not being relaly faithful for a while, but also with my crazy life right now, i'm having a hard time arranging my priorities...gotta work on this or else, in teh words of mike, i'm gonan "crack REALLY hard"...great

such is the essence of my life...not very interesting, but i like it like that =)

oo..btw, michael vartan is HOT =D

new year...new blog...it's been a while =)

just to sum up....this new year hasn't gotten off to the best start...but, in the grand scheme of things, i think *crossing my fingers* that everything will work out...

school wise: it is a humongous PAIN THE THE BUTT right now...like..i'm in about the worst possible situation...well i guess it's not THAT bad compared to other things that could happen..but for me it's pretty devestating..=P whatever..i'll get over it

church wise: i'm SO excited for thsi new year! not only are we starting up new stuff at TM3C, but we're relaly growing! and it's jsut relaly encouraging..and i'm getting to know more people..which is good...and hopefully i can help carry some of the leadership burdens that i dumped on other people while i was killing myself over school...i relaly wanan make the most of the months i have left at this church...

kyrios: what can i say..it's a bumpy ride! but so far, it seems really good..i think clem had a good idea when he said he would let us jsut kinda follow our passions and focus on planning a program that we feel inspired to do...instead of just planing any old program...and i hope after snow camp we'll have more focus on God and tighter relationships with each other

relationships: i think everything's goin pretty well on the people level...i'm relaly grateful for my friends right now...especially those i'm close to...ike (for talking me thru my panic attack at snow camp), jon (jsut for being the super guy u are), mich + vicki (for keeping me sane at school)....i know they prolly won't ever see this, but u guys ahve really carried em thru these past weeks...

spiritually: running VERY low...i have a lot of support from certain people right now, especially mike and jon....and it's really nice jsut to know that GOd has put people like this into my life..but somehow i can't bring myself to face God straight on...not only do i feel bad for just not being relaly faithful for a while, but also with my crazy life right now, i'm having a hard time arranging my priorities...gotta work on this or else, in teh words of mike, i'm gonan "crack REALLY hard"...great

such is the essence of my life...not very interesting, but i like it like that =)

new year...new blog...it's been a while =)

just to sum up....this new year hasn't gotten off to the best start...but, in the grand scheme of things, i think *crossing my fingers* that everything will work out...

school wise: it is a humongous PAIN THE THE BUTT right now...like..i'm in about the worst possible situation...well i guess it's not THAT bad compared to other things that could happen..but for me it's pretty devestating..=P whatever..i'll get over it

church wise: i'm SO excited for thsi new year! not only are we starting up new stuff at TM3C, but we're relaly growing! and it's jsut relaly encouraging..and i'm getting to know more people..which is good...and hopefully i can help carry some of the leadership burdens that i dumped on other people while i was killing myself over school...i relaly wanan make the most of the months i have left at this church...

kyrios: what can i say..it's a bumpy ride! but so far, it seems really good..i think clem had a good idea when he said he would let us jsut kinda follow our passions and focus on planning a program that we feel inspired to do...instead of just planing any old program...and i hope after snow camp we'll have more focus on God and tighter relationships with each other

relationships: i think everything's goin pretty well on the people level...i'm relaly grateful for my friends right now...especially those i'm close to...ike (for talking me thru my panic attack at snow camp), jon (jsut for being the super guy u are), mich + vicki (for keeping me sane at school)....i know they prolly won't ever see this, but u guys ahve really carried em thru these past weeks...

spiritually: running VERY low...i have a lot of support from certain people right now, especially mike and jon....and it's really nice jsut to know that GOd has put people like this into my life..but somehow i can't bring myself to face God straight on...not only do i feel bad for just not being relaly faithful for a while, but also with my crazy life right now, i'm having a hard time arranging my priorities...gotta work on this or else, in teh words of mike, i'm gonan "crack REALLY hard"...great

such is the essence of my life...not very interesting, but i like it like that =)

i smell trouble..and it's very stinky

i miss people a lot...not only the grads who i haven't talked to for a million years...but even some of my friends that are still here....it's so hard to stay close during the school year..and i feel really bad and worried....

i'm so happy that anthony came back from princeton for the week!!! wow..what a smart guy...and yet he can be such a moron! =) but he's someone who can really take my sarcastic crap...haha..funnee dood

school's hard....really hard....

God's there..but not HERE....is it possible to feel God working within you even though u haven't spent time with Him or talked to him for a while? man, when school starts, it really hits hard! relationships and everything else are just brushed aside..this is not good

I really hope ike learns how to dance by sat..altho i'm sure he'll have a fab time at the slots! hehe...

ok..just felt like blabbing..i'm done

HI HI!

i have no idea why i'm so perky....i think i'm compensating for earlier today when i was spazzing at my friend and then settled into a nice mood of gloom and doom..oo, that rhymed....yup..a regular grumpy the dwarf...too bad that position's already been taken =)

why was i so grumpy? first and foremost, history sux....i have a university prof for goodness sakes! he doens't teach us anything in class and makes us do everything at home...so much reading! sound familiar, grads? honestly, i 've been spending these last two weekends preparing a history seminar, research essay draft, reading up for an in-class essay and quiz...plus playing countless games of Solitaire during three hour stretches in front of the comp and consuming 3 bags of Haloween chooclate...and where did this get me? a numb bum and 20 pounds heavier! =) hehe..j/k...and this is only a taste of university..but i think it's gonna help dull the shock a little next year =P
oh SPEAKING of universities, i left all my scholarship apps till now..and when i asked my guidance counsellor to write the primary ref letter for me, she spazzed so bad..not that i blame her..especially w/ the number of peeps that are applying to the US from my grade....argh...so much pressure

our bible study went really well on friday! at i think it did...at least ppl showed up! =) yay! and they actually talked!

yup.....i'm feeling better now cuz....i just am....God's peace is a powerful thing...it's a lot easier when u put it in His hands so u don't have to worry about everything...Ike told me on friday that i have to enjoy the process (hence the name of his blog i guess)...and i think that's so true...i have to keep everything in perspective...if i know that something is helping me, i think i'm more motivated to do it...like my extended essay....which at the moment is just a big obstacle...thanx to jeff for jsut checking up w/ me on that..even tho my answer is the same every week =P hehe

song of the moment: i thought she knew by NSYNC....ok, words are irrelevant here...the harmonies are jsut SO GOOD..i listened to it three times in a row and it really helped to calm me down =) oh..and also come what may from MR....summer memories...sniff =)

u know what i found out? the moulin rouge actually exists!!! my dad went to france for a business trip, but since he was paying his own way there, he had to stay somewhere relatively cheap...which is basically unheard of in france...so he ended up in a really ghetto area near...the moulin rouge!!!! and he told me that he was actually gonna go see the can can dances!!! HAHA...he's such a weirdo =) one other thing that i found out and regret not taking advantage of: a couple fo years ago, my dad got two tix to france for a conference and 4 NIGHTS in the CHAMPS ELYSEES!!! and stoopid me..i said i wanted to go to school!!!! argh...what a dorkette...and now that i acutlaly odn't mind missing school and i'm old enuf to appreciate the culture, i can't go because of stupid OAC junk! booooooo. not that we'll ever get another chance cuz of the sucky economy (meaning my dad's suppliers won't pay his way toa conference anymore) **kicking myself in the bum**

yah ok..soo....good luck to the grads on their remaining exams! buhbye!

JENSEN ACKLES IS ON DARK ANGEL!!!!! what a hottie! ;D hehe...well he is! joshua's cute too..even tho he's half a dog...he's so simple and sweet....ah well...anyone even know what i'm talking about?

boy..this day just keeps getting better and better....

i think i'm going to cry...no..scratch that..i'll just stay up till 3 tonite worrying/ doin hw...and then wake up in time for my 7:30 am eng commentary at school tomorrow!

school is being very....difficult

hi all....i feel like i am living a wonderful dream but also a nightmare at the same time....but i don't want to start this blog by complaining..God has given me too much to be thankful for so....

Thanks to steph for being there when it counted....what was upset about probably seemed really trivial to you but u still took time out to pray for me and stuff....=)..i apreciate that
thanks to charles to for just listenin to me about the whole incident
Thanks to God for FINALLY bringing caroline to kyrios...i geuss everything's in His own time
A BIG THANK YOU to clem and the counsellors....i never thought about how u guys were doin spiritually until clem kinda brought it up at the SMT meeting...kyrios is so lucky to have all of you as cousellors, u who are willing to sacrifice fellowship with your peers in order to be our friends and give us guidance....i hope that whenever u guys are feeling burnt out and tired, u'll tell us and so we as leaders can give in extra effort on our part.
thanks to ron fro jsut being the best big brudder... for always being teh first person to call me up whenever something's goin on..and jsut for being there to talk...
thanks to God for bringing some non-christians into out fellowship...it's so exciting when u have an opportunity to do His work...especially with someone as enthusiastic as Viv....i'm still really unsure about ann, mike, and jeff....like, i know they're not bad ppl....jsut a lot harder to reach.....
Thanks to all the other SMT ppl for working together to make programs run smoothly....
Thanks to God for a pretty cool cell group =)
thanks to jeff jsut for beingaperson i can always count on to care for me...to just see how each other's week went..or just a quick hi
Thanks to God for helping me stay sane...i'm gonna need His help more than ever in these following weeks....
the list goes on....

i hope patty's feels better soon....i liked her before when she actually said HI to me when i came near her! =) hehe...
i hope carmen is ok too...i'm not sure what's goin on....but i have vibes =)..hang in there girlie...
i hope all the grads had a nice time at home....it was cool having u guys back!

oo oo! guess what?? i went to CNE today with a bucnh of students from all different grades in our high school..and we sorted food for the daily bread food bank! it was really hectic but a lot of fun..the snaks they served were kinda raunchy tho...=P hmm...some weird stuff i found during the sorting: a box of crayons, hairspray/shampoo, iodine drops or something like that, packages of soy sauce that u get from Japanese restaurants..hehe....

ooookay....looong blog....word of advice: don't blog when u still have a freakin 4000 wd reasearch essay to do! =P